DTR

BB boy and I had the "DTR" - Defining The Relationship - talk the other day. I am officially off the market.

We didn't really need to have the boyfriend/girlfriend discussion, but we did anyway. Our relationship just sort of naturally evolved into something really wonderful and exciting and different. I'm happy. I'd even go so far as to say that I'm twitterpated.

To text (or not to text...)

Okay. So if you’ve ever known anyone of the opposite sex EVER in your life, you know this to be true: Men and women communicate differently.

I know… it’s shocking! But alas, it’s true. And let’s face it: The fact that we communicate differently creates all sorts of messes in our relationships.

Take, for example, my friend M, who ran into an ex-boyfriend over the weekend. They had dated the summer between their junior and senior years in college. During the summer, their romance fizzled. But when during the fall, when they went back to different colleges in different cities, it fizzled.

Anyway, they ran into one another over the weekend at a little sports bar. M says they eyed one another to make sure it really was who they thought it was. Eventually, he made his way over, they reconnected and enjoyed pleasant catch-up conversation.

His phone was dead, so he suggested she text him with her new cell phone number. He also invited her to go hang with him and his friends at another local bar… but she was tired and thus, declined.

But per his request, she sent him a text that read something like, “Hey, it was good to see you!” She didn’t identify herself and – worse yet – has no way to know if her number actually showed up.

Last night, after much consideration and several (SEVERAL…) glasses of wine, we decided that she should text him again but be more specific. After all, she never identified herself. He might not know who it was who was texting, right?

So, we formulated a text message that was (we think!) breezy, unstudied and spur-of-the-moment.

It took 30 minutes to write.

“Hey, it’s M… Hope you guys had fun at RPs last weekend! Let me know if you ever want to grab a drink and catch up.”

He hasn’t responded.

Maybe we should have listened to the advice of two guy friends who piped up and gave their two cents. They said (and I quote), “Guys don’t like it when girls call.” But seriously, why ask someone to text you and why invite them to continue hanging out if you have no intention of responding?

This is what we girls like to call, "Giving Mixed Signals."

Were the situation reversed and it had been M who requested the original text message, she would have responded by Tuesday with a light (and thoughtfully composed) return text.

So why don't boys play by the same rules? Because (sigh) we communicate differently. And because of that difference, M is stuck obsessively checking her phone for new messages and wondering if she read this silly boy wrong in the first place.

Update

In recent weeks, the dating scene has really dropped off for me. I continue to hang out with Barback Boy and the more that I do, the more I realize that I really, really like him and don't need to be wasting my time with some of these guys I've been seeing. So I've phased them out of my life slowly but surely.

I hesitate to call him my "boyfriend" because I still want the freedom of knowing that I'm single. Also, we're in one anothers' lives but we're not a PART of one anothers' lives, you know what I mean? Until that situation is remedied (and possibly, still after that) I don't plan to enter into a truly exclusive relationship. Even though, yes, I guess we're technically together because neither of us is seeing anyone else.

Aaaaanyway, after that long-winded explanation, I thought I'd share some of the things that make him great and that I have learned about him in the past few months. I stole this from a couple of the other blogs that I read, and thought this was an appropriate outlet.

1. He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
A Reds game

2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
I don't know, he's never actually ordered a salad in front of me. Probably ranch.

3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?
Onions

4. You go out to the bar. What does he order?
Beer, usually some sort of of IPA

5. Where did he go to high school?
Lakota, back before there was an East or West.

6. What size shoe does he wear?
I don't know.

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
Everything! He's a huge pack rat. He has ever Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue published since, like 1980. And he has lots of bottles from favorite beers.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
He eats a lot of tuna and he's not opposed to a burger.

9. What would he eat every day if he could?
Pizza

10. What is his favorite cereal?
I can't be sure, he has no cereal in his house. Though I have seen lots of oatmeal.

11. What would he never wear?
High heels, probably. Or a speedo.

12. What is his favorite sports team?
The Reds

13. Who will he vote for?
McCain. Let's not go there, we've had a couple of discussions about that. They've been... spirited...

14. Who is his best friend?
I would say his friend Becca, but he's not speaking to her currently because she tried to break us up. So probably his family, Larry, Brandon and Ryan.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?
Complain about how lame his presidential candidate is. Pretend to be interested in UFC.

16. How many states has he lived in?
Several - Illinois, Ohio, Florida. Also, he served in the Air Force, so he also lived in Saudi Arabia and Iraq.

17. What is his heritage?
German and maybe some other things

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
Probably yellow cake. He doesn't love chocolate.

19. Did he play sports in high school?
Oh gosh, I'm embarassed to admit this. He was REALLY big into doing tricks on his bike.

20. What could he spend hours doing?
Downloading and listening to music