Three small words

Barback Boy -- henceforth referred to as "The Boyfriend -- told me that he loves me over the weekend.

I have to admit, I kinda already knew... or at least, I suspected. We've been on the same page consistently throughout our relationship, and I've been feeling that lovin' feelin' for a little while now.



But more so than the words, The Boyfriend finds little ways to show or tell me every day. It's a text message first thing in the morning or a kiss on the forehead when I leave. It's buying me a bright pink toothbrush for use when he "kidnaps" me for weekends at his house. It's stocking Coke in the fridge and opening doors and making me breakfast in bed and doing the dishes without complaining and showing up unexpectedly with a bottle of wine and the fancy-schmancy corkscrew I've been eyeing.

Now that I know how he really feels, though, those every day moments are becoming all that more precious. Those moments that we have together take on a whole new meaning, especially between two people who don't want to bust out "I love you," all the time for fear of the phrase losing its intensity.

DTR

BB boy and I had the "DTR" - Defining The Relationship - talk the other day. I am officially off the market.

We didn't really need to have the boyfriend/girlfriend discussion, but we did anyway. Our relationship just sort of naturally evolved into something really wonderful and exciting and different. I'm happy. I'd even go so far as to say that I'm twitterpated.

Update

In recent weeks, the dating scene has really dropped off for me. I continue to hang out with Barback Boy and the more that I do, the more I realize that I really, really like him and don't need to be wasting my time with some of these guys I've been seeing. So I've phased them out of my life slowly but surely.

I hesitate to call him my "boyfriend" because I still want the freedom of knowing that I'm single. Also, we're in one anothers' lives but we're not a PART of one anothers' lives, you know what I mean? Until that situation is remedied (and possibly, still after that) I don't plan to enter into a truly exclusive relationship. Even though, yes, I guess we're technically together because neither of us is seeing anyone else.

Aaaaanyway, after that long-winded explanation, I thought I'd share some of the things that make him great and that I have learned about him in the past few months. I stole this from a couple of the other blogs that I read, and thought this was an appropriate outlet.

1. He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
A Reds game

2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
I don't know, he's never actually ordered a salad in front of me. Probably ranch.

3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?
Onions

4. You go out to the bar. What does he order?
Beer, usually some sort of of IPA

5. Where did he go to high school?
Lakota, back before there was an East or West.

6. What size shoe does he wear?
I don't know.

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
Everything! He's a huge pack rat. He has ever Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue published since, like 1980. And he has lots of bottles from favorite beers.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
He eats a lot of tuna and he's not opposed to a burger.

9. What would he eat every day if he could?
Pizza

10. What is his favorite cereal?
I can't be sure, he has no cereal in his house. Though I have seen lots of oatmeal.

11. What would he never wear?
High heels, probably. Or a speedo.

12. What is his favorite sports team?
The Reds

13. Who will he vote for?
McCain. Let's not go there, we've had a couple of discussions about that. They've been... spirited...

14. Who is his best friend?
I would say his friend Becca, but he's not speaking to her currently because she tried to break us up. So probably his family, Larry, Brandon and Ryan.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?
Complain about how lame his presidential candidate is. Pretend to be interested in UFC.

16. How many states has he lived in?
Several - Illinois, Ohio, Florida. Also, he served in the Air Force, so he also lived in Saudi Arabia and Iraq.

17. What is his heritage?
German and maybe some other things

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
Probably yellow cake. He doesn't love chocolate.

19. Did he play sports in high school?
Oh gosh, I'm embarassed to admit this. He was REALLY big into doing tricks on his bike.

20. What could he spend hours doing?
Downloading and listening to music

Date #4 - FINALLY!

On Friday, Teach and I met for the first time. We'd had a little bit of trouble connecting over the last couple of weeks, so it was nice to finally put a face to a name.

We met at a sports bar for happy hour. I figured if we didn't hit it off, there would be beer and sports to fill the awkward silences. If we did hit it off, there'd be beer and sports to talk about and munchies to enjoy.

As luck would have it, we hit it off! I found that he wasn't at all what I expected from our phone conversations. We had more in common than I thought and he's smarter than he sounds. (Smart counts for a LOT with me.)

Of course, part of the reason the date may have gone well is because my expectations were starting to get a little low. After three dud dates, I didn't have high expectations that I would meet my "one and only" at the sports bar. By keeping my expectations in check, I was able to just open up and enjoy the experience for what it was.

Let that be a lesson to you, fellow single people. Keep your expectations low and you'll never be disappointed. There's nowhere to go but up.

Grade: A-

Welcome to Cingle in the City

Welcome to Cingle in the City. This blog is designed to share the stories of a single woman in Cincinnati who is just trying to find someone. Not necessarily Mr. Right. More like Mr. Right Now. Or Mr. Right Now Who Might Be Mr. Right Later But Let's Not Rush And Just See What Happens.

Irreverent. Gutsy. Tongue-in-cheek. These are all ways to describte this blog. It's not meant to be anything fancy. Just a chronicle of one woman's quest to find love in the city of Cin.

Got a funny dating story yourself? Add it to the comments or email me. You can find that info to your right.

And now, sit back, grab a glass of wine and enjoy the first installment of Cingle in the City.

Back in the Saddle Again



Since my last relationship ended a few months ago, I've been in a little bit of a rut. So, tired of my own self-pity and pathetically nonexistent love life, rejoined the social experiment known as Match.com. Things have been... interesting, to say the least. Here's a rundown of the players so far... names have been changed to protect the innocent.


He's a Rhinestone Cowboy: So this guy "winked" at me. (For those of you who either aren't single or aren't in the know, a wink is a casual way of letting someone know you are interested. That way, you don't have to face rejection by email.) He looked like he was 12. In a cowboy hat. Now, it's not that I don't like cowboys, because I do. The tall, dark, studly kind who are all sweaty from a hard day on the range, have some 5 o'clock shadow and have to wet themselves down at the water pump... oh, I'm sorry, did I digress? Ahem. Anyway, this guy didn't look like that at all. NEXT!

Renaissance Man: This guy actually winked at me (and probably every other woman on the site) the first time I was on Match.com. As it turns out, he is a total weenie who hit on me when I was in college, too. Ew. So he sends me a wink and I politely say “no thanks.” Then he sends me an email telling me that he’ll wink again in another six months. I politely say “no thanks” again. I also point out that he hit on me in college and that "I wasn’t interested then and I’m not interested now." Still, he emails me back to tell me that he can be patient and he’ll talk to me soon. I am almost willing to go out with him just to get him to leave me alone.

Marine Boy: So I get an email from this guy – a former Marine who could probably snap my neck in half with just one look – asking if I wanted to chat sometime. He’s 29, divorced and he has two kids. I’m not really interested in dating a guy with two kids and an ex-wife, so I tell him I’m not interested.

Then I get this message: “I guess I ain’t upperclass enough for you?” No, you’re 29, you have two children, you’re divorced and you look like your profile pic is the same as your mug shot. In response, I said, "No, that isn't it. I just am not interested."

[Editor's note: I mean, c'mon. I'm allowed to not be interested. That is the beauty of this Match.com thing! You click, I click and if we click then we click. If we don't, there will be no clicking and you shouldn't take it personally. You know?]

And then: “Whatever then good luck findin a good man on here if your that damn picky then.” Seriously? Ease up, dude. And good luck finding a woman who doesn’t care if you know how to spell.

Shaggy: You know that song, "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy? Well, this guy's username was a bit like the refrain of that song, so I will affectionately (or not so affectionately, as it were...) refer to him as Shaggy. I wasn’t totally into him, but he seemed nice so we exchanged a few emails. Then he IMed me (cuz you can do that through Match.com now…) His opening line: “She lives!” I presume this was because I hadn’t been on the site for a couple of days and hadn’t yet responded to his email.

So I responded, “She lives, she is just busy.” He goes, “I bet I could make it worth your while to be un-busy.” Puh-lease. I realize that it is hard to talk to a tasty lady like myself but seriously? That line is so freaking lame.

So we go back and forth a little bit and I explain that I have a life. I also explain that, as a girl on this Web site, it gets really overwhelming with the number of winks and emails I find it necessary to respond to. His response: “I’ll tell you what. You weed through the bad ones and when you don’t find what you’re looking for, you get back to me. Because hundreds may come and go, but you’ll never find another me.”

Ugh. The line, "It wasn't me" is running through my head. It certainly wasn't him.

But at the end of the day, there are always some silver linings. And here are mine:

Teach: Teach is - what else? - a teacher and a football coach at a local high school. Teach reminds me of a big, goofy, quarterback type. He has some potential, we’ll have to see how things shake out.

Ad Man: Ad Man works in the research department of a local advertising agency. He writes long, interesting emails. He is funny online, which is relatively hard to do. He seems genuine and adorable. Oh yeah, and he has this big, huge smile in all of his photos. So cute! He asked for my number, I gave it. We'll see, America.

Italian Stallion: So this guy is, like, straight out of Sicily. He studied in Italy twice. He is an accountant but he has a personality. He has good taste in music. Oh yeah, and did I mention the Italian part? Only drawback: he’s 25, which is almost a little young for me. I would really prefer to date someone a little older, but pickings are slim in that department, because all of the older guys are the psychos mentioned above.

Baja: Baja works for his family business. I don’t know what that family business is yet, so we’ll see if he offers that information up. We’ve only exchanged a few emails, so there isn’t much more to say about him.

Maroon 5 Lookalike Guy: I think this guy looks like Adam Levine from Maroon 5. 'Nuff said. Meeting for drinks/coffee next week.

Mr. Marvelous: Mr. Marvelous strikes me as this somewhat shy, somewhat nerdy, but still sort of confident and completely adorable. We’ve exchanged a few emails, so it’s nothing to get too excited about right now. But this one has potential, folks…

Barback Boy: No, he doesn’t work in a bar. He works for a title company and we actually met just before I started this whole social experiment. He is charming. We have nothing in common, but he has a lot of qualities that I like. He is 10 years older than me, but who's counting?

So that's it. Fire away, folks.