L8 4 a D8

Uh-oh Teach. You may be in trouble now... seeing as how you were almost 30 minutes late for our date tonight!!

Let's go back to where it all started -- the beginning.

So this is my third date with Teach. Third dates are great... you know one another well enough to be comfortable, you might even have some inside jokes, and you know that you like one another enough to see each other again. The possibilities start to open up during the third date, and you start to actually consider keeping this person in your life for a little while.

Our first two dates went really well. He continues to surprise me - he's got smarts hidden behind this deep Kentucky drawl. He's funny and laid back. And while I don't like him as much as I like Barback Boy, I do like him and was looking forward to seeing him tonight.

For our third date, Teach and I yet again decided to meet for dinner and drinks. (Okay, mild criticism here: I like to eat, but I'm kind of in the mood to DO something, you know?! Like, Barback Boy and I went canoeing. Oh, and also? I have picked the place each time. How about you show some initiative and YOU pick the place next time?!)

Aaaaanyway, Teach had a fundraiser to attend for one of his friends, who is running in the Olympics, but whose mom doesn't have enough moolah to get there. Noble cause. Really admirable. Knowing that he had these other obligations to attend to, we decided to do dinner late and meet at the restaurant at 8:00.

At 7:55, I receive a call from Teach. "Hey, have you left your house yet?" he asked.

"Yep, I'm actually just parking. Why, what's up?"

"I'm running late. I might be closer to 8:05," he said. "Would that be okay? Are you mad?"

Well no, I'm not mad, I thought. After all, you were considerate enough to call and tell me you'd be late. So I responded, "Nope, not at all. See you then."

To kill some time, I took a nice, leisurely stroll around the block. I window-shopped as I passed by some of the upscale boutiques in the area. And I arrived at exactly 8:05.

No Teach.

So I waited for a few minutes in the lobby. I started getting fidgety. The poor hostess, sensing my discomfort, asked if I wanted to go ahead and be seated. Anything is better than just sitting in a lobby, so yeah, I wanted to be seated!!

I called Teach to let him know that I'd been seated and to just come in and find me. As we are about to hang up, I casually asked him if he'd be there soon.

Well, he's still about 10 minutes away. So no, he wasn't close and he was going to be late. "Go ahead and order a drink while you wait for me," he says.

Well, okay, no problem. A few more minutes is fine. But 20 minutes later, he still isn't there, my wine is getting warm and I, of course, am freaking out. That's when he ambles in.

He was incredibly apologetic. I swear, he must have apologized about a dozen times. But here's what happened. I guess he was late to this fundraiser event. Then, the newspaper and one of the TV stations showed up. (This story is big news in Cincinnati, so this much is plausible.)

Since he had some T-shirts custom designed and was selling them for this benefit, he was asked to be interviewed. He complied, but it put him farther behind. And then a bunch of his friends showed up, so he felt like he had to schmooze with them for a bit. Finally, at 7:55, he realized that he had to leave the benefit for our date... which by the way, was half an hour from where the benefit was being held.

Here's the thing: It doesn't bother me so much that he was late. It doesn't even bother me that he waited until five minutes before we were supposed to meet to call me.

What bothers me is that he told me he was going to be five minutes late, but in reality was going to be 25 minutes late. The benefit was in his hometown, and we were having dinner in the suburb where he lives now. So he KNOWS it takes longer than 10 minutes to get there. So why not just tell me that he's going to be 30 minutes late; I would have been slightly annoyed, but I would have killed some time and been none the worse for the wear.

And when I asked him why he didn't just tell me that he'd be 30 minutes late (and probably asked none too gently, considering I was actually kind of pissed off at that point...) he told me, "Well, I didn't want you to be mad."

But you thought that I wouldn't be mad just hanging out waiting for you for 25 minutes?! I mean, I could give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he's being sincere and had the best of intentions. After all, he is a nice guy.

But on the other hand... is this a sign of things to come? What do you think, America? If a guy is nearly 30 minutes late to a date - pretty much knowing that he's going to be late but not wanting to "make you mad" by being honest about it - do you give him a second chance and see how it goes, or do you drop him like a hot potato and move on to the next?

Grade: C-

[Editor's Note: One of my friends asked me how the rest of the date went. When Teach wasn't obsessing over being late, it went fine. I got over the fact that he was late and wanted to move on to other topics of conversation. He kept saying, "I figured you'd be mad and would leave me," or "I figure I'll never see you again because I was late," and blah, blah, blah. I told him that we should just move on and not talk about it anymore, but he just KEPT COMING BACK TO IT. It was really annoying. But other than that, the date was good.]

Dates #8, 9 and 10

Two weeks ago, I had my second date with Teach. We went to a little local bar and had a few (okay, several) drinks and some dinner. Honestly, I got a little tipsy, which is pretty unlike me on a second date. Teach continues to surprise me, which is why I am seeing him for date #3 tomorrow....

Two Sundays in a row, I have had dates with Barback Boy. I think he is stepping up his game, now that he knows he's not the only person on my dance card. Two weekends ago, we went to this brew pub and had some delicious dinner, during which, he told me that HIS PARENTS had wanted me to come over so that we could all have dinner together. Glad he vetoed that (although I have met his parents, it was just before I was dating him!!) and stuck with our dinner plans.

This past Sunday, as I was coming home from Dayton, I stopped by his place and we watched the Olympics together. And snuggled. And whoever called at one point knows who I am, because he said, "I'm watching the Olympics with Cingle Girl." So apparently all of his friends and/or family know about me, even though we are barely dating. Of course, all my friends and family know about him, so I guess I shouldn't be that surprised....

I think I only have one month left on my Match.com subscription so I am making the most of it. I went a little "wink" happy on some cuties who seem to be new to the service, so we'll see what develops there. Even though I like these guys that I am going on second and third and fourth and fifth dates with, I'm a girl who just wants to have fun right now. Why tie myself down just yet?! :)

Date #7 - Lord of the Rings

Tonight was date #2 with Mr. Marvelous. Our first date was just okay, but since we'd had so many great phone conversations before it, I wanted to have a second date.

We decided to meet at Macaroni Grill... except that, as I realized about 30 minutes before date time, I realized that Macaroni Grill is closed. So instead we met at Ruby Tuesday. lOnce again he brought me a flower, only this time it was two yellow roses. I sort of got the impression that every date we'd have, the more flowers I would get. It's a sweet gesture, but considering the amount of doom I felt about going on this date I couldn't really appreciate it for what it was worth.

As I blogged in my last post about Mr. Marvelous, I had a completely different image of him in my head than the person who appeared in front of me on our date. You might recall that I thought he was this cute, shortish guy before I met him... but in reality, he's tall and lanky with a weird body shape. What I didn't realize was that he actually reminds me a bit of a hobbit. Broad face, pointy ears. Sort of like this, but with shorter hair:



I came to this unfortunate realization about 5 minutes into our date... try enjoying your salad when all you can think is, "Frodo! Frodo Baggins!"

Sigh.

So we ordered and I tried to put the hobbit resemblance from my mind. My meal came with a salad bar, which he told me I could go enjoy. (Yes, you read that correctly. Told me.)

10 minutes in and I'm already annoyed that he's giving me permission to go to the salad bar. This was gonna be a long night.

I made myself a huge and delicious salad, which I began to enjoy upon my return to the table. However, he kept making comments about how weird he felt watching me eat. So I moved the plate to the side and waited for our meals to come. But then he got all weird about having chastised me for eating my salad. Hello dude?! What do you want from me?!

20 minutes in and I wanted to kill him.

While we were making idle conversation, he wanted to know what my first impressions of him were. I guess I wouldn't have thought that was such a weird question if my first impressions of him were positive. I know he was just trying to give me a compliment because he liked my "spirit", but I was just sort of put off by the whole question.

Our food came a few minutes later - thank goodness, because the awkward silence was starting to streeeeeeeetch. Except that during dinner he talked about salmonella poisoning. And the silence began to streeeeeeetch again.

We finished our meal and the server brought the check. I picked up the tab because I knew I was about to break things off and figured a free meal would at least soften the blow. I got the impression that he wanted to linger and chat some more. I suggested we head out.

We walked out to the parking lot and I mentioned I was going to walk over to the bookstore for a few minutes, so this would be where we parted ways. He went for the hug/"I had a great time" combo. As we were hugging, I pulled out the "We're not clicking" line.

I hated the look of disappointment on his face. I hated that I put it there. He (understandably) cooled considerably upon hearing that I wasn't interested in seeing him anymore. I hate this part.

He kind of creeped me out at that point, so I wandered towards the bookstore and hung out for a few minutes until I thought he'd left. Seriously, I'm a 27 year old woman and I felt the need to hide? L.A.M.E.

Grade: N/A

Up next: Drinks/dinner with Teach - Woo hoo!

Dates #5 and #6

Whew! It was a busy weekend of dating, folks. Let's get right to the action, shall we?

Date #5 - Canoeing with Barback Boy
On Saturday, Barback Boy and I went canoeing with his cousin. Even though we met nearly two months ago, this was only date #3 for us. The canoe trip was a great metaphor for our relationship; pretty laid back, slow moving and occasionally completely stagnant. And yet, it was a really fun time. The sun was shining, the water was smooth and the company was fantastic. We threw back a couple of beers, made one another laugh and had a great time. I really like him.

At the end of the date, he asked me to the baseball game for the next afternoon. Except for that I already had a date planned. (See Date #6) Barback Boy looked a little surprised that I would even tell him about a date with someone else. His response? "I guess when you leave something on the market for too long, it gets snatched up." Envious, Barback Boy?

Grade: A+

Date #6 - Newport Aquarium
On Sunday afternoon, Italian Stallion and I met at the Newport Aquarium for some educational fun. I was already feeling like the chemistry wasn't completely "on" -- but we'd had such great conversations before and he'd admitted he was being a little quiet on our first date -- so I thought it was worth a second date.

So there we were, wandering among the sharks and fishes. We had good conversation. We learned some interesting facts about penguins and got to pet some sharks (weird feeling, kinda like a scuba suit). Afterwards, he bought me a Sno-Cone. We enjoyed people watching and general conversation.

But still no spark.

As we were walking to our respective cars, he asked me if I'd like to do it again. I really, really hated what was coming. But I felt I had to be honest. "I had a really good time, but I don't really feel like we are clicking."

And guess what? He felt the same way! Whew!

Well, okay, not exactly. He said that he agreed, but that he felt like he was really holding back and being really bashful. That he was being really shy and likes me a lot and doesn't feel like he's fully opened up to me. So that is not exactly the same as "not clicking." I suggested that we be friends. I can always use another guy friend looking out for me.

Do I think we'll be friends? Nah. But you never know.

Grade: N/A

Up next: Dinner with Mr. Marvelous tomorrow, dinner with Teach on Wednesday.

Date #4 - FINALLY!

On Friday, Teach and I met for the first time. We'd had a little bit of trouble connecting over the last couple of weeks, so it was nice to finally put a face to a name.

We met at a sports bar for happy hour. I figured if we didn't hit it off, there would be beer and sports to fill the awkward silences. If we did hit it off, there'd be beer and sports to talk about and munchies to enjoy.

As luck would have it, we hit it off! I found that he wasn't at all what I expected from our phone conversations. We had more in common than I thought and he's smarter than he sounds. (Smart counts for a LOT with me.)

Of course, part of the reason the date may have gone well is because my expectations were starting to get a little low. After three dud dates, I didn't have high expectations that I would meet my "one and only" at the sports bar. By keeping my expectations in check, I was able to just open up and enjoy the experience for what it was.

Let that be a lesson to you, fellow single people. Keep your expectations low and you'll never be disappointed. There's nowhere to go but up.

Grade: A-

Date #3

Tonight I had a date with Mr. Marvelous. Here's how it went down.

We decided to meet at J. Alexander's. I have said before that I have this kind of weird, tingly feeling whenever we've had conversations in person. But I think I had a different image of him in my head than who he is in real life. In his photo, he looked like this cute, sort of short-ishy guy, but in real life he is tall and has kind of a weird body shape. Right off the bat I was a little disappointed... the chemistry that I'd felt on the phone just didn't seem to be translating into real life.

But he brought me a pinky/yellowy rose which was incredibly thoughtful and charming. So I tried to set the fact that he wasn't at ALL what I expected aside.

I also felt a little awkward because while not the most expensive steakhouse I've ever been to, J. Alexander's is a nice restaurant. And when I eat steak, I usually eat filet mignon because it is the smallest cut of beef and is always delicious. But on a first date, I feel kind of weird and almost guilty ordering a big expensive meal, even if the dude is the one who suggested it.

It wouldn't be so bad if they guy was planning to order a big expensive meal, too. Unfortunately, when I compared what I was thinking of getting to what he was getting, it was clear that my meal was going to be more expensive. Like, double. And I felt bad about that! So rather than get the glass of wine and the filet that I would normally get, I got a strip steak (uck) and stuck to water. That way, we were a little more on par with one another. And oh yeah, since he doesn't drink at all, I would have felt TOTALLY out of place getting a relaxing glass of pinot noir. Sigh.

Anyway, the conversation was good but I felt like I wasn't being quite myself. I think I was trying to overcompensate for the fact that I was disappointed that I'd built up my expectations of him, and he didn't meet them. And by the end of the date, I was ready for it to be over.

I will go out with him again. Now that I have a better sense of what to expect, I think it will be a little easier. Maybe I can concentrate more on what he is saying and less about how my intuition was so totally off about him. We just had such GREAT conversations on the phone... and I had sort of built him up in my mind and was disappointed by the real thing.

Grade: B-

I treated myself to some fro-yo after my date, and literally bumped into a hottie in line in front of me. We made conversation and while I didn't make a move and neither did he, I was still struck by the fact that you literally could meet someone anywhere.

Date #2

So today I had a date with Tall, Dark and... Skinny. He was exactly as described. Really tall and REALLY skinny.

We went to the Cincinnati Art Museum, which is an awesome place. It was the first time I'd ever been there, and I definitely need to go back. We spent two hours wandering the various exhibits and trying to make converation. But in the hushed reverence of a museum is not the best place to make conversation, especially for the first time.

At one point, I saw him reach onto his belt for a little device. Yeah - he was wearing a pedometer. "This thing must not be working," he said. "It says I've only taken 245 steps!"

[Editor's Note: When I told my mom that, she laughed louder than I've heard in a while. I assumer you're joining her in laughter.]

At the end of the date, he asked me if I wanted to go eat. But the conversation, the chemistry just weren't there. So I declined. I mean, the kid is hugely nice and you can tell he is a total sweetheart, but if it's not poppin', it's not poppin'.

And seriously... a pedometer?! You may want to leave that at home the next time, fella.

Grade: D

Up Next: Dinner on Tuesday with Mr. Marvelous