Welcome to Cingle in the City

Welcome to Cingle in the City. This blog is designed to share the stories of a single woman in Cincinnati who is just trying to find someone. Not necessarily Mr. Right. More like Mr. Right Now. Or Mr. Right Now Who Might Be Mr. Right Later But Let's Not Rush And Just See What Happens.

Irreverent. Gutsy. Tongue-in-cheek. These are all ways to describte this blog. It's not meant to be anything fancy. Just a chronicle of one woman's quest to find love in the city of Cin.

Got a funny dating story yourself? Add it to the comments or email me. You can find that info to your right.

And now, sit back, grab a glass of wine and enjoy the first installment of Cingle in the City.

Back in the Saddle Again



Since my last relationship ended a few months ago, I've been in a little bit of a rut. So, tired of my own self-pity and pathetically nonexistent love life, rejoined the social experiment known as Match.com. Things have been... interesting, to say the least. Here's a rundown of the players so far... names have been changed to protect the innocent.


He's a Rhinestone Cowboy: So this guy "winked" at me. (For those of you who either aren't single or aren't in the know, a wink is a casual way of letting someone know you are interested. That way, you don't have to face rejection by email.) He looked like he was 12. In a cowboy hat. Now, it's not that I don't like cowboys, because I do. The tall, dark, studly kind who are all sweaty from a hard day on the range, have some 5 o'clock shadow and have to wet themselves down at the water pump... oh, I'm sorry, did I digress? Ahem. Anyway, this guy didn't look like that at all. NEXT!

Renaissance Man: This guy actually winked at me (and probably every other woman on the site) the first time I was on Match.com. As it turns out, he is a total weenie who hit on me when I was in college, too. Ew. So he sends me a wink and I politely say “no thanks.” Then he sends me an email telling me that he’ll wink again in another six months. I politely say “no thanks” again. I also point out that he hit on me in college and that "I wasn’t interested then and I’m not interested now." Still, he emails me back to tell me that he can be patient and he’ll talk to me soon. I am almost willing to go out with him just to get him to leave me alone.

Marine Boy: So I get an email from this guy – a former Marine who could probably snap my neck in half with just one look – asking if I wanted to chat sometime. He’s 29, divorced and he has two kids. I’m not really interested in dating a guy with two kids and an ex-wife, so I tell him I’m not interested.

Then I get this message: “I guess I ain’t upperclass enough for you?” No, you’re 29, you have two children, you’re divorced and you look like your profile pic is the same as your mug shot. In response, I said, "No, that isn't it. I just am not interested."

[Editor's note: I mean, c'mon. I'm allowed to not be interested. That is the beauty of this Match.com thing! You click, I click and if we click then we click. If we don't, there will be no clicking and you shouldn't take it personally. You know?]

And then: “Whatever then good luck findin a good man on here if your that damn picky then.” Seriously? Ease up, dude. And good luck finding a woman who doesn’t care if you know how to spell.

Shaggy: You know that song, "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy? Well, this guy's username was a bit like the refrain of that song, so I will affectionately (or not so affectionately, as it were...) refer to him as Shaggy. I wasn’t totally into him, but he seemed nice so we exchanged a few emails. Then he IMed me (cuz you can do that through Match.com now…) His opening line: “She lives!” I presume this was because I hadn’t been on the site for a couple of days and hadn’t yet responded to his email.

So I responded, “She lives, she is just busy.” He goes, “I bet I could make it worth your while to be un-busy.” Puh-lease. I realize that it is hard to talk to a tasty lady like myself but seriously? That line is so freaking lame.

So we go back and forth a little bit and I explain that I have a life. I also explain that, as a girl on this Web site, it gets really overwhelming with the number of winks and emails I find it necessary to respond to. His response: “I’ll tell you what. You weed through the bad ones and when you don’t find what you’re looking for, you get back to me. Because hundreds may come and go, but you’ll never find another me.”

Ugh. The line, "It wasn't me" is running through my head. It certainly wasn't him.

But at the end of the day, there are always some silver linings. And here are mine:

Teach: Teach is - what else? - a teacher and a football coach at a local high school. Teach reminds me of a big, goofy, quarterback type. He has some potential, we’ll have to see how things shake out.

Ad Man: Ad Man works in the research department of a local advertising agency. He writes long, interesting emails. He is funny online, which is relatively hard to do. He seems genuine and adorable. Oh yeah, and he has this big, huge smile in all of his photos. So cute! He asked for my number, I gave it. We'll see, America.

Italian Stallion: So this guy is, like, straight out of Sicily. He studied in Italy twice. He is an accountant but he has a personality. He has good taste in music. Oh yeah, and did I mention the Italian part? Only drawback: he’s 25, which is almost a little young for me. I would really prefer to date someone a little older, but pickings are slim in that department, because all of the older guys are the psychos mentioned above.

Baja: Baja works for his family business. I don’t know what that family business is yet, so we’ll see if he offers that information up. We’ve only exchanged a few emails, so there isn’t much more to say about him.

Maroon 5 Lookalike Guy: I think this guy looks like Adam Levine from Maroon 5. 'Nuff said. Meeting for drinks/coffee next week.

Mr. Marvelous: Mr. Marvelous strikes me as this somewhat shy, somewhat nerdy, but still sort of confident and completely adorable. We’ve exchanged a few emails, so it’s nothing to get too excited about right now. But this one has potential, folks…

Barback Boy: No, he doesn’t work in a bar. He works for a title company and we actually met just before I started this whole social experiment. He is charming. We have nothing in common, but he has a lot of qualities that I like. He is 10 years older than me, but who's counting?

So that's it. Fire away, folks.